Inner Inquisition

I have come to a conclusion that the majority of my fears are fears of making a mistake. I am not most worried about others forgiving me. I am more worried about my inner inquisition: Will I be able to forgive myself? Will I try to find my fault in something which is clearly the fault of somebody else or is simply destiny or a coincidence? Had I not gone to Northern Germany that October of 1996 (see: Balancing the Beast), would my mental illness ever emerge? Is it my fault that I have to deal with it now? Or was it only a matter of time, when schizoaffective disorder would pop up and destroy the...
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The Power of Complexity

In a complex system it is precisely the number and variation of its units that makes it possible for the system to adapt, when its environment changes. (Compare: Martin Reeves, Simon Levin, Daichi Ueda: Von der Natur lernen, published in: Harvard Business manager, September 2016, pages 34-46.) It might seem curious to you that I get my ideas for writing in business magazines, but let me tell you that they pop up any time, sometimes when and where one would least expect it. So it came to be that I suddenly though of the variety of methods I use to cope with my schizoaffective disorder bipolar type as...
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Swimsuit Season

It is the swimsuit season. Time of revelation. The big question is: what will be revealed? Skinny legs or ample curves? The funny notion of looking good in a bathing suit is actually a statement of uniformity. According to the standards of fashion we should all look the same. We should all be skinny. Why on one hand we try to preserve the animal and plant variation on the planet, while on the other hand the human beings should all be the same? There is little logic in that. Would it help, if we were to be divided into subspecies like: small, medium, large and extra-large? Would it assist us in...
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Go with the Flow Attitude

This year’s summer holidays did not go just as my husband and I had planned them. He usually takes a two-week leave and we spend five days at the beach. Then we stay at home for the weekend and prepare for another five days of camping in the mountains. It started according to our plan. The first three days we spent swimming in the sea and resting in a shade, reading books and solving crossword puzzles. The water was warm enough, so we could take long swims, really enjoying the salty playground. I am a slow swimmer, thus my husband was kind enough to do a dead man’s float now and then, so I...
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