Lack of Compliments


It is a rose. Take it as a compliment.

If any of the international bloggers writing about mental health and other psychology issues knows about lack of compliments ─ than it is me. Why so? Because I am Slovene. If you give a compliment in Slovenia, you are most likely going to sound suspicious. People fear that you have something up your sleeve. No wonder there are so many extreme sports people in Slovenia, but also many alcoholics. Nothing can supplement the lack of compliments from parents in childhood, except maybe if we learn to compliment each other on a daily basis.

We can re-learn our habits. I am sure there are compliments deprived people all around the world, but in Slovenia criticism has been the prevailing pattern of communication for centuries. It is one thing to tell somebody two things:

1. What he/she did right.
2. What he/she did wrong.

It is totally different to always tell about mistakes and never mention the good aspects of one’s work or behavior.

What are your views on that? Comments welcome!

Take care,
Helena Smole, author of Balancing the Beast, a book offering a bright view of schizoaffective disorder ˗ bipolar or manic-depressive type

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