Mamma’s List/Papa’s List

letting children grow up It is very human to analyze our lives and make a list of mistakes. It is also very human to try to teach our children not to make the same mistakes. What we do not realize, in my opinion, is that our mistakes were only mistakes in that specific situation. They might be the right decision for our children, because the situation has changed in the meantime. Mamma’s list might be outdated. So may papa’s list.

Let me name a few examples. A young man wants to be a postman. He works as a postman during summer holidays while in high-school. Parents insist he should get more education, because when they were young education was everything. He enrolls at university and tries to study. He finds studying is not for him and finally he gets a job as a postman. Why not let him be a postman in the first place? There are many young people with university education looking for a job these days. On the other hand, occupations that demand less education like postman or any handyman suffer from a lack of work force.

Another example perhaps. Parents that married young and had children early might get the feeling they missed something. They might keep telling their children to marry and have children later than them. What they do not realize is that by listening to their parents they might miss their chance to have children at all. This advice from parents is not so much outdated as it is based on individual experience of life. Who says one cannot have fun with children? I cannot think of more fun than making castles of sand with a three-year-old.

Many parents think they can prevent all bad happening to their children. Well, in my opinion, they cannot. The destiny of their children will happen one way or another I believe. What one can give to a child, in my opinion, is the faith that all clouds clear some day and that health, ethics and love are the three most important things in life. Beyond those words of advice, especially those being told over and over again can only make the child totally frustrated. It is their life.

What are your views on that? Comments welcome!

Take care,
Helena Smole, author of Balancing the Beast, a book offering a bright view of schizoaffective disorder ˗ bipolar or manic-depressive type

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