A New Girl in Town

improved self-image

Plant friends basking in the sun.

I have discovered recently, that one of the most important things in life is to know what you want. If you do not know, what you want, you cannot get anywhere and usually it is everybody else’s fault.

I gave notice at a well paid job six years ago and it has not been easy since then. Almost simultaneously with quitting the job, my husband and I also moved from the capital of Slovenia to a smaller town. I had to build everything from scratch: a new job, new friends, a new balance.

A new job is being a writer. It is far from being simple. I am also the publisher, which means I have to push myself to write, set my own deadlines. On top of that, a writer is a lonely profession. I have to get out of my apartment to meet people and sometimes I have to push myself to do that too. Thus, there is a lot of pushing. To make things worse, I am not making much money. Or in other words, I had to accept the fact that my husband is making ends meet for me. I was brought up to be a financially independent woman and I am still struggling with being a financially supported wife. I am trying to console myself with the fact that I can write what I want this way. No publisher is telling me, what to write. On a good day this comfort works, on a bad day it does not. Last but not least, my first book meant announcing to the world, that I have a mental illness, which made everything harder. But I knew deep inside that I had to put an end to the past haunting me, before I could start writing novels. The first one is finished by the way. Currently, it is being transformed into a Kindle version of an e-book. Soon to be made available on Amazon.

New friends. That’s a chapter! I realized, why some people never move. The easiest way through life is to keep the friends that were always there for you, since childhood. Anyway, the selection process is over now. I know, whom I can trust. After six years, I am no longer a new girl in town.

A new balance. As any writer, I had to find a balance between working, engaging in hobbies and just chilling. Writing is a very strenuous activity, thus there is no 8-hours-a-day-pattern possible. Most of the time I am thinking. I only write, when I feel I got a good idea.

To sum up, it was not easy. But I did it. I am a writer today. I found some ways to keep the balance and not work too much or too little. And I have wonderful new friends. It is possible. But you have to know what you want.

Take care,
Helena Smole, author of Balancing the Beast, a book offering a bright view of schizoaffective disorder ˗ bipolar or manic-depressive type

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