Destiny Reefs

improved self-image


In the last decade the idea that if we really wish for something, visualize and try hard to achieve it, it will eventually come true. Many books were sold, promising that we can achieve anything.

I must disapprove however. In my opinion there are hurdles on some paths that are impassable. After trying to achieve something for years and seeing things get worse not better, we must accept our destiny. Not everything is meant to be.

I remember how I was trying to learn to drive a car for four years. I had my license and the knowledge in my head, but I could not put it into practice. My reflexes were too slow and I could not learn, when it was safe to drive in from a side-road to the main road or when to change the lane. I could not develop the feeling for the speed of other cars. The questions remained unanswered: “Is it safe to drive in?” “Is the car far enough and approaching with a speed slow enough for me to join the traffic on the main road or on another lane?” Speedy motorways were so frightening, I was totally exhausted after half an hour.

Everyone kept telling me that I would loosen up eventually. But I did not. I was getting more and more paranoid. The driving was very stressful, but the aftermath was even more horrible. I would go over every detail after the drive. I concentrated on every mistake I had made and imagined catastrophic consequences.

Until one day I simply felt that driving was not for me. I admitted defeat. The paranoia behind the wheel is my destiny reef. And I respect it.

Take care,
Helena Smole, author of:
– a fantasy novel with romance Vivvy and Izzy the Dwarf: A series about relationships
Balancing the Beast, a book offering a bright view of schizoaffective disorder ˗ bipolar or manic-depressive type

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