I have met with my high-school classmates just recently. It was an anniversary of our graduation from the so-called International Baccalaureate Program. We told each other what kind of jobs we have naturally. I said I was a writer. Naturally. What else could I have said? Well, it’s not exactly a job. I am a financially supported wife. But it’s what I do. Deep inside I have my doubts though. Am I really a writer? Well, I am writing this blog post, aren’t I? Does this make me a writer? Am I a bad writer? Do I really really suck as a writer? Maybe. But I try to do my best. Scout’s honor. In the...

It is a fine line between being careful and showing a mental illness symptom called anxiety. I can never tell, whether it is just my personality trait or am I exhibiting a symptom. I have found lately that I over-analyze myself. I see every worry as mental instability. Often people tell me stories in a way, which clearly shows, that they worry about the described situation. I try to comfort them: “Don’t worry.” Most of them answer: “I am not worried. I just described my situation.” In my opinion, they do not feel the worry, because they want to hide it. It is supposed to show weakness. Well,...

I try to publish a new blog post every fortnight, but I do not force myself to do it, if there is no inspiration to write. One post every second Monday amounts to about 25 texts a year, which is my usual amount. If you check the last two years, you will see that I only posted 15 times in 2017 and only 7 times in 2018. I embraced it. I believe inspiration is a gift and should be treated with gratitude, when it happens. But, of course, I do not make my living by writing, which makes this whole thing possible. I always expect the inspiration with joy and fear, the fear of not getting one before two weeks...

I have a pretty harsh inner critic in me, a voice telling me I am not good enough. I read that this comes from my childhood, from too conditional love from my parents. In the sense: “We will love you, if you are good.” Now I am asking myself: How else are parents supposed to raise a child? A human being cannot do anything one pleases, because there are other people on the planet and there have to be some rules. In order to teach the child the rules, one has to motivate her or him. You promise the child to be treated nicely, if the child is good. It dawned on me in this respect that if you have...

Reading the Jane Austen’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’ I find that pride is not an esteemed quality in a person. I also remember reading about how pride is a vice and not a virtue in the Buddhist tradition. While Wikipedia for example states both a positive and a negative connotation of pride. What to do about pride then? It has dawned on me the other day, that what we need is to see pride as a spice. Only a smidgen of it will do. What do you think about that? I find it hard to be proud of myself, even a hint of it. I just do not feel any of it. I can well be proud about others, but never of my own...