Any reasonable person knows, one cannot prevent destiny. Being a person with anxiety, however, I must remind myself daily that I can only do so much to prevent trouble. I am often swimming in worst case scenarios. I get sick and tired of trying to convince myself they will not happen. And when I chase them away, new appear. I am battling with a few of them right now. Yet, I do not want to share them, for I am afraid they could trigger anxiety in my readers. Except the funny incident with the soap. I can share that much, I believe. I am too aware of viruses and bacteria, so I wash my hands too often. I...

Reading the Jane Austen’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’ I find that pride is not an esteemed quality in a person. I also remember reading about how pride is a vice and not a virtue in the Buddhist tradition. While Wikipedia for example states both a positive and a negative connotation of pride. What to do about pride then? It has dawned on me the other day, that what we need is to see pride as a spice. Only a smidgen of it will do. What do you think about that? I find it hard to be proud of myself, even a hint of it. I just do not feel any of it. I can well be proud about others, but never of my own...

I have found out recently that my anxiety is in a way primary and the reason for it are secondary. How did I discover that? For every fear which appears in my mind I try to find a consolation. And when I soothe myself regarding one fear, another one appears. Some days I eventually calm down, but on bad days the train of fears is endless. This is, in my opinion, because anxiety is there no matter what the circumstances of my life are. And my mind attaches secondary reasons to anxiety. Sometimes I still feel anxiety, even when I have managed to mentally remove all reasons for fears. It feels like a...

In our Western world spirituality is excluded from schools. If you want your child to learn about the spiritual aspect of our being, you enroll the kid in Sunday school or a similar educational institution, which is usually organized by a certain church. In other words, we have separated the world of science (primary school) and the world of religion (Sunday school). Some scientists are even trying to prove that there is no God. On one hand, it is good to have secularized school, so that the church cannot exert too much power over people. And God has given us a brain capable of discovering and...

Recently, I have come across an author who writes 5 books a year (Jerry Jenkins). I must say I am on the other side of the pole here – I write 1 book in 5 years. I have finally realized that comparison with others will get me nowhere. I have also no intention of fighting the so called writer’s block. I will write when inspired and no other way. Of course I must add that I am not making my living by writing. I am a financially (and emotionally!) supported wife. Also: I should not work too hard, otherwise my schizoaffective disorder gets worse. Still, sometimes I cannot comprehend why I get...