Posted by Helena Smole in Schizoaffective disorder
on Sep 15th, 2014
We are a culture of wishes, a culture of creating and fulfilling them. That is what keeps us going. But no matter how many wishes get fulfilled, we still feel empty inside. Why? Because wishes have a nasty habit of multiplying. We quickly forget about what we already have and we want something else. Having too many wishes not only leaves you hollow inside, but can also lead to some foolish choices.
Actually, in my case, one wish was enough to ruin everything for it was too strong. Those of you who read my book already know the story. As a foreign language student I wanted to spend a semester in a...
Posted by Helena Smole in Schizoaffective disorder
on May 12th, 2014
To be or not to be –
It is a rare dilemma to see.
The question of life is how?
To burn in the here and now?
Or to smoulder in fear of tomorrow?
When I was really young I used to think I could work all the time. Resting was optional. Until at the age of 22 bipolar disorder with psychotic traits broke out. First I had a raging mania and then I was lying in bed all the time. I experienced two extremes that were both very difficult to bear. Ever since I have been trying to balance the extremes in order to have a more normal life. So I do burn, but just a little and then I continue the safe smouldering....
Posted by Helena Smole in Schizoaffective disorder
on Apr 14th, 2014
The only safety is the willingness to adapt to change.
Some changes in life are expected. We are somehow prepared for them. When we are still in school, we know in a few years we will start looking for a job. A pregnant woman and her man expect many changes after birth. People ready to retire expect big changes too. They can prepare themselves by getting enough information and by changing their attitude. Yet some changes in life come unexpectedly. They are usually called bad luck or tragedy, not change. Western culture devotes a lot of time and energy to preventing all kinds of bad luck. Nevertheless...
Posted by Helena Smole in Relationships
on Sep 16th, 2013
Some year ago, soon after having been released from a psychiatric hospital, I was taking a walk in the forest with a friend. She would go on talking about her problems and I was comforting her. All of a sudden a small brown dog came from nowhere and it started to tear my jacket and my trousers apart. We managed to get rid of him somehow and I was in a double shock: still traumatized by the hospitalization and on the top of that attacked by a dog.
All these years I thought I was lucky the dog did not bite my skin and hurt me. It only damaged the jacket and trousers. Yet recently it has dawned on me...
Posted by Helena Smole in Relationships
on Sep 2nd, 2013
Feri Lainšček, a much translated Slovene writer, very popular and successful also in his home country, was more than pleasant to listen to on the national holiday, 25. of June, the state independence day of Slovenia, a relatively young state. I cannot quote all his interesting statements, for that would call for a proper interview striving to do him justice. Thus I chose only one of his statements that made me ponder: “I wonder, how can a generation of parents, that have handled the new state so badly, have raised so wonderful kids?”
Let me put this statement into context. Lainšček was doing...