Recently, I have come across an author who writes 5 books a year (Jerry Jenkins). I must say I am on the other side of the pole here – I write 1 book in 5 years. I have finally realized that comparison with others will get me nowhere. I have also no intention of fighting the so called writer’s block. I will write when inspired and no other way. Of course I must add that I am not making my living by writing. I am a financially (and emotionally!) supported wife. Also: I should not work too hard, otherwise my schizoaffective disorder gets worse. Still, sometimes I cannot comprehend why I get...

The list goes on and on. I have to clean this and that additionally. I have to protect my social network profiles. I have to reduce the spam in my e-mail accounts. I cannot include in a blog-post or, God forbid, in a book something, which would have a bad effect on the reader. I must be very precise in recycling the garbage. I remember parts of conversations with people and I go over and over them after the meeting to make sure I could not have done any damage by my words. The list goes on and on. What I am most afraid of is making a mistake. But mistakes are a part of life. That is how we learn. Yet,...

I had a most peculiar dream the other night: I was looking out the window in our apartment. I saw what I can see in real life: the roofs of about a hundred houses lined up in parallel streets. At the edge of the group of houses there was a giant machine, which does not exist in real life. Basically, it looked like a crane, but it was much more than that. It was a most magical appliance building contractors can only dream of. I saw it remove the roof of a house standing on the rim of the group of houses. Right afterwards the special machine built a new roof out of thin air. Both the removal and the...

It ignites like a spark in your brain. It flickers for a moment and then again and again. You try to chase it away, but it won’t go, You tell it to stop existing, yet it says ‘No’. You know it’s easy to get rid of while still small. But it stays in your brain having a ball. Despite all your efforts to extinguish the spark It keeps multiplying like in a village the dogs’ bark. Pretty soon all your brain cells are burning, And your stomach slowly starts turning. You feel a nasty pain in your chest, Your hands tremble and there is no rest. Your new worry soon invites her brothers and...

…try try again. Yes, but is it really wise to keep trying in all situations? Not always. I can remember at least one time from my past, when I wish I had not been trying again. I would have saved myself and others a lot of trouble. I will call it the ‘Göttingen experience’. I have been writing about it before, but it keeps coming back in my mind. Apparently I will have to write about it until I really get over it. I was a diligent student of German language and literature in Slovenia, my home country. Naturally, I wanted to spend a semester in a German speaking country, attending classes at a...