Marital Bliss in a Nutshell

These are just ideas, there is no recipe for marital bliss. The title sounds too ambitious perhaps, but I only want to share with you the suggestions for a happy marriage I have come across in my life. Some are from seminars, some I deducted prom real-life situations in my marriage or in those of my relatives and friends. These are just ideas, there is no recipe for marital bliss. They might work for some couples and for others not.

In my opinion the woman in a love relationship has more emotional intelligence than the man, because raising daughters is different from raising sons. The daughters are allowed to be more emotional and eventually learn to deal with emotions, while the sons are supposed to suppress emotions to a larger degree. That probably accounts for the fact that in the emotional intelligence school I went to the majority of students were women. Or as my husband put it: “It is hard enough to talk about emotions with my wife, let alone in front of a group of people.”

Therefore, in my opinion, if the woman can find it in her heart to encourage her husband instead of belittling him, he will find it easier to be the man who provides for the family, while she still reigns as the child-bearer. But what if she wants a career too or if he does not earn enough and they both have to work? Again she could make him feel that his contribution to the family is important, despite the fact that she will always be the ‘queen’ who have birth to their children. She could also encourage him gently to help with the kids and the household instead of watching TV all evening. Some men were raised not to help in the household. The women can approach them these ways:

– Give them chores not seen by the neighbors and visitors. And do not brag about it. It has to be kept a secret.

– Compliment every little progress.

Furthermore, the man has to know that earning money is not enough. At least his spare-time should be spent with his wife and kids. This leaves little room for friends. I guess they will have to wait till the kids grow up. A practical solution is also to hang out with whole families.

In addition to that, anger management is also crucial. In my opinion, we should apply the rule: ‘Cool it, before you go through with it.’ It is unwise to yell and call each other names. Couples therapists advise to work the anger off by breathing or exercise and only after that tell what bothers us in a polite way. Only in a polite atmosphere the couple can achieve compromises.

Last but not least, in my opinion, husband and wife should not compete with one another. It is much better to be a team instead.

WARNING: The upper suggestions might not work in all cases. They are also no substitution for couples therapy. In the event you use any of the information in this blog-post, the author assumes no responsibility for your actions.

Read more about love in my fantasy novel with romance.

Take care,

Helena Smole, author of:

– a fantasy novel with romance Vivvy and Izzy the Dwarf: A series about relationships

Balancing the Beast, a book offering a bright view of schizoaffective disorder ˗ bipolar or manic-depressive type

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