The Age of Anger

Posted by Helena Smole in Relationships on Sep 26th, 2011

There is so much anger on the planet these days that it is accumulating in what Phyllis Krystal calls a thought form. We only need to get a bit angry at somebody/something and we feel a huge wave of anger all of a sudden. It is because we subconsciously connect to the thought form of anger. What can we do about it?

Firstly we can avoid anger. Listening to the news regularly creates unnecessary anger. We can go on-line and choose individual TV shows – for example we can pick only the happy news or the news from our line of work, where we can actually do something about the new happenings. What can I, for instance, possibly do to help, if an angry husband kills his wife? Unless I am a witness – nothing.

Secondly we can avoid people, who like to chat about things that make them angry, especially if they keep repeating the same stories for years and are not willing to forgive or do something about their situation.

Thirdly we can forgive those that have hurt us in the past and will never apologize or make it better, either because they have deceased already or because they do not have any regrets. Of course we must also make sure they do not hurt us again – for example get a divorce or start seeing a couple therapist, change jobs, avoid extremely negative parents that are not willing to change, get professional help with teenagers etc.

And last but not least, when we find ourselves overwhelmed with anger, we can do a breathing technique or a visualization exercise for example. I usually do the anger management exercise, described in books by Phyllis Krystal.

The only anger that has a real function in life is the anger that helps us stand up for ourselves and settle a conflict. For example: let us say I am an employee that just got too much work to do and other colleagues have almost too little work. Then I am supposed to get “a bit angry” and say politely to the boss that I do not find it fair what he/she has just done.

In the history of human kind anger was supposed to protect us from actual danger, not to cause us additional stress. Today our lives are different due to numerous sources of information. However, we can control the inflow of the information. We do not have to “consume” all the information available.

Let me conclude with the Jean-Paul Sartre’s saying that “Freedom is a heavy burden.” And let me add that it becomes lighter, if we learn to set limits to our freedom. We can choose:
– Which media we will follow and which not.
– Which friends we will hang out with and which not.
– What amount of time we shall expose ourselves to the chosen media and friends.
– What kind of behavior of our relatives we will tolerate and when we will tell them, that they have just hurt us by saying or doing or not doing something.

I also suggest you reserve some time you can spend in nature, away from all sources of information at least once a week, once a day would be even better, if possible. See Vacations and trips.

I want to thank my dear friend Bridget for giving me a topic to write about – the problem of anger.