Everything changes

When a flower starts to blossom, it’s a change too.

Some changes in life are expected. We are somehow prepared for them. When we are still in school, we know in a few years we will start looking for a job. A pregnant woman and her man expect many changes after birth. People ready to retire expect big changes too. They can prepare themselves by getting enough information and by changing their attitude. Yet some changes in life come unexpectedly. They are usually called bad luck or tragedy, not change. Western culture devotes a lot of time and energy to preventing all kinds of bad luck. Nevertheless bad things still happen.

It took me years to accept the fact that some things are simply my destiny. They would have happened in any case, regardless of my actions and choices. When I had my first mental illness episode at the age of 22, I saw it as my fault instead of my destiny. My life would have been a lot easier, had I just seen it as change from health to illness. Instead of looking for my mistakes that had led to it I could have concentrated on restoring my health.

In addition to that, I would like to point out another advantage of the attitude of seeing bad things as merely change. It makes it easier to forget what one has lost and to concentrate on what one has gained. A healthier life-style, a more conscious way of living, a new habit of being grateful, being able to tell true friends from those who only use people, realizing what really matters in life … those were the things that I have gained due to my mental illness episodes.

You can read more about my slow adapting to change in my book: Balancing the Beast.

Take care,
Helena Smole, author of Balancing the Beast, a book offering a bright view of schizoaffective disorder ˗ bipolar or manic-depressive type