Ah, Fears!

Posted by Helena Smole in Schizoaffective disorder on Aug 4th, 2015

How does fear really feel like? Do we ask ourselves this question or do we simply deny our trepidations? They are a nasty habit though. Just consider how much marketing is based on fears: the fear of getting ill, the fear of dying, the fear of having less than your neighbor etc. I can only describe how fear feels to me. It usually starts with a seemingly irrelevant thought. I try to send it away, but it won’t go. It is as if some dark power kept opening a dangerous computer program file.

And then the thought grows. Pretty soon it fills the whole working memory in my brain. I can barely squeeze in the thoughts I need to function, like locking the apartment after having exited it. The fear stars manifesting itself in my body. I feel a funny sensation in my stomach, it is a blend of sting and pain. Most of the muscles in my body are slightly tense. My inner peace becomes a lost cause.

Have you ever felt that way before? The thinking pattern of fear is so strong these days that it catches on rather quickly. It is hard to avoid it, but it can be done. How? Keep reading.

Unfortunately most people choose to talk about it with other people. If the listener does not manage to sooth the frightful person quickly, the fear is likely to catch on to him or her. Thus the dangerous thinking patterns spreads.

In my opinion it would be a lot more effective to try to conquer the fears alone, at least most of them. That way they would lose their power. But how on earth can we do that? There are many techniques I have learned in a school for emotional intelligence, in the seminars of Phyllis Krystal and with the help of my psychiatrist, who taught me to examine my thoughts by means of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy).

I will name the mental exercises that work best for me. I use the number eight exercise from the Phyllis Krystal Method to distance myself from the problem that I am afraid of. There is also a very useful anti-fright exercise within the same method called ‘the star of light’, where the light from the star replaces the darkness of fear.

There are also more simple mental exercises. I imagine the worst outcome and try to picture a solution for it. Many times the worst outcome is not that bad at all, especially when I snap out of the claws of fear. Using CBT one can render a fear invalid, based on black and white thinking we remove from our thoughts. And when nothing else works, I imagine my anxiety thoughts are just clouds passing by. I never know how much of my fears come from my schizoaffective disorder bipolar type, but I have stopped asking this question a long time ago. For me a fear is something to work on.

WARNING: If you happen to be experiencing mental health problems, please do not try any mental exercises mentioned in this blog without consulting your psychiatrist first.

Take care,
Helena Smole, author of:

– a fantasy novel with romance Vivvy and Izzy the Dwarf: A series about relationships

– Balancing the Beast, a book offering a bright view of schizoaffective disorder ˗ bipolar or manic-depressive type