How does fear really feel like? Do we ask ourselves this question or do we simply deny our trepidations? They are a nasty habit though. Just consider how much marketing is based on fears: the fear of getting ill, the fear of dying, the fear of having less than your neighbor etc. I can only describe how fear feels to me. It usually starts with a seemingly irrelevant thought. I try to send it away, but it won’t go. It is as if some dark power kept opening a dangerous computer program file. And then the thought grows. Pretty soon it fills the whole working memory in my brain. I can barely squeeze...

“We dislike losing the things we have more than we appreciate gaining the things we don’t have.” (Bevelin P.: Seeking Wisdom from Darwin to Munger, Third Edition, Post Scriptum AB: 2013, p. 67) For me the most painful loss was the loss of health at the age of 22. The diagnosis was scary and even hard to spell: schizoaffective disorder. My first reaction was denial. I thought for years that psychiatric pills were the only remedy. Later I started to explore lifestyle changes. Today I do many things to stay healthy, taking medication is only one of them. In the morning, before I start writing, I do...

We are a culture of wishes, a culture of creating and fulfilling them. That is what keeps us going. But no matter how many wishes get fulfilled, we still feel empty inside. Why? Because wishes have a nasty habit of multiplying. We quickly forget about what we already have and we want something else. Having too many wishes not only leaves you hollow inside, but can also lead to some foolish choices. Actually, in my case, one wish was enough to ruin everything for it was too strong. Those of you who read my book already know the story. As a foreign language student I wanted to spend a semester in a...

I read an article about new developments in virtual reality technology. I would like to quote Palmer Luckey, where he gives a definition of virtual reality: “At the bare minimum there’s some threshold you cross into a sense of presence, being in a space and forgetting that it is not a real space but a virtual one.” (Total Immersion by Jerry Beilinson, Popular Mechanics, June 2014, p. 76─81, 118─120) Having had experience with hallucinations my first reaction was fear that such technology might disrupt my brain. I actually never tried any of it. But then again my fears are just my fears....

To be or not to be – It is a rare dilemma to see. The question of life is how? To burn in the here and now? Or to smoulder in fear of tomorrow? When I was really young I used to think I could work all the time. Resting was optional. Until at the age of 22 bipolar disorder with psychotic traits broke out. First I had a raging mania and then I was lying in bed all the time. I experienced two extremes that were both very difficult to bear. Ever since I have been trying to balance the extremes in order to have a more normal life. So I do burn, but just a little and then I continue the safe smouldering....